Feng Shui & Beyond Blog

Rules schmules… how serious should I take this "feng shui" thing?

Depending on the style of feng shui you practice, there can be a lot of rules. Which, for the most part, makes sense. After all, the Chinese have about 5000-6000 years of practice working with energy and understanding how it influences us.

The most important aspect of feng shui is creating an environment that is balanced and harmonious. Generally speaking, humans are lovers of balance—we even instinctively seek it out. But what happens when certain feng shui rules don't "feel" right or don't honor your particular preferences?

If something doesn't feel right, it may be time to throw the rules aside and tap into your intuition.

Everyone has an incredibly powerful internal guidance system—yes, even you! It allows you to feel out certain beliefs and find out if it resonates with you—free from any dogma or external authority. Real empowerment comes from gauging what you read and hear instead of blindly following the guidance of any teacher or philosophy. True personal power lies in trusting your intuition, even if it guides you in a contrary direction. Buddha said, "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." Gandhi stated, "Even as wisdom comes from the mouth of a babe, so does it often come from the mouths of old people. The golden rule is to test everything in light of reason and experience, no matter from where it comes."

Couldn't have put it better myself.

So, if you have read a certain feng shui rule that doesn't sit quite right with you, question its purpose and whether or not it is for your highest good. Maybe you prefer yin environments when all the books are telling you to balance with yang. It is better to honor your particular preferences than follow a firm set of rules.

The most unfortunate result of holding fast to a rigid set of rules is when you are forced to break them. Maybe you found out that it's impossible to put your desk in the power position and now you actually have a little fear—maybe a lot of fear—that your are doomed. That is not empowering! And that is not what feng shui is about. Every feng shui tip should feel inspiring and uplifting. Beware of any advice (from anyone or anywhere) that leaves you feeling fearful.

Terah Kathryn Collins (author of the phenomenal book "The Western Guide to Feng Shui") put it eloquently:

"Gathering around you the things you love is an expression of your own individual chi. No matter how much you break down and label things, it is essential to honor your preferences, style, and opinions when you are creating your individual personal paradise. When your ultimate goal is to live a life surrounded by the things that turn you on, it doesn't matter if it ends up being labeled lacy, stark, country, deco, eclectic, or contemporary. What matters is that it is a joyful expression of you."

So I encourage to use feng shui in the home, but use your internal guidance system — aka intuition — to help you create a meaningful expression of yourself. Take back your power!

Feeling frazzled? Learn 6 great ways to bring simplicity into your life.

Get rid of absolutely everything you don’t completely love or need.
Clutter not only affects your physical space, it also influences your state of mind. If you seek simplicity, get rid of everything you don’t use or love! Revel in the bare and simple.

Organize, organize, organize.
This tips seems to simple (no pun intended *wink*) but for some reason most people just don’t get this. To simplify your life, simplify your possessions. Remember, your outer world reflects your inner world. And just like clutter, disorganization and collections of unwanted things congests the flow of vital energy.

Use clean lines and pure forms when you decorate your home.
Clean lines, crisp patterns, and cool wintry colors like blues create spaces that are both soothing and relaxing. Simple patterns and forms bring out a feeling of simplicity in your overall space. You don’t have to go for the neo-modern look with concrete floors and minimalist furniture. It may be a matter of merely slimming down on accessories and choosing different colors and fabrics.

Choose the right kind of lighting.
Light always brings clarity and simplicity to a space. Make sure your space has enough focused lighting like reading lights, up-lights, and spot lights. Choose clear white lights for an even greater effect.

Arrange your furniture so that energy can flow freely.
Arrange your focus areas of furniture so that they are not disrupted by foot traffic or energy flowing through windows and doors.

Pick colors that will bring a sense of peace and simplicity.
Colors like white and blue are perfect for bringing a sense of peace, openness, balance and simplicity.

How I used feng shui to get clarity on my job, my spirituality, and everything else.

When I first started practicing feng shui, I had just graduated from art school and out of sheer confusion and lack of ingenuity I went back to what I did before I went to graduate school—I took any job I could get in the architecture/design field.

Fortunately, this time was a bit different.

This time I knew about the law of attraction, the power of positive thinking, and feng shui. So I set to work “feng shuing” my new apartment. Among other things, I really wanted some clarity on where to take my career. I wanted to know my purpose in life. I wanted to finally have a “job” that I could look forward to every day. And most importantly, I know longer wanted to take a job with the only redeeming aspect being a disposable income so that I could escape said job on nights and weekends.

For me, that is not a life worth living.

The first thing I did was to focus on the career/journey area of the feng shui bagua. This area not only enhances your career, it affects who you are, your life purpose, and your destiny or journey in this lifetime. So I decluttered my career/journey area of the feng shui bagua and I created a collage with the intention of providing clarity and focus.

When I create a collage for an area of the feng shui bagua, I take into consideration the specific feng shui enhancements recommended for that area of the bagua map. In this case, the enhancements for the career/journey area included water symbols, the colors black and blue, free-flowing asymmetrical shapes, and sacred geometry representing clarity and focus.

Then I waited.

Awhile later I got an invitation to visit my friend who was staying with her sister on the East Coast. Normally, I would not stay with someone I don’t know very well—call it the INFP in me—but this time I decided to go down. My friend’s sister told me about a wonderful career test by the Rockport Institute developed by Nicholas Lore. She took this test and discovered that her career as an aerospace engineer in Colorado was not the career for her. Instead, a career in women’s studies would be more suitable. So on a whim, she had moved to the East Coast, took a job in women’s studies in DC (and also happened to find the man she would later marry and have two children with) and has never been happier.

Life is so precious in its serendipity.

Of course, I jumped on the opportunity to take the career test. It was amazing. Not only did it give me complete clarity on the direction I should take, it also gave me the courage to quite my menial job.

The funny thing about life is that when you follow your intuition and take action, a vitality or life-force comes through you enabling you to accomplish things that were impossible before. I never thought I had the gumption to break out on my own and become an entrepreneur, but here I was doing it.

Of course, my clarity/focus collage continued to work in my favor. Opportunities, products, services, and people simply fell into my lap. A random email link from my dad led me to Site Build It!—an awesome internet business resource and service. I landed a 3-day a week contract gig that paid the same amount of money I was making full-time, allowing me to focus on my new business. And I finally got the opportunity to move back to the west and devote over a year to building a new business. (Incidentally, I also got clarity on my romantic relationship.)

When I moved back west I created a new career/journey collage, this time focusing on building a career that would vitalize and energize me. I wanted to continue to do work that contributed to humanity. I also wanted to unearth a life journey—a destiny—that  would inspire and uplift me.

I wasn’t disappointed.

I was led to the Release Technique, where I found a method that provides spiritual clarity and freedom and allows me to handle any problem that comes my way.  (Read “Stop working and start living!”). In addition, I continue to do my own work on my own terms, live where I want, have a loving relationship, and I do work that I hope “contributes to the flowering of humanity” (a phrase taken from Joseph Campbell, one of my favorite people in the whole world and who also happens to be in my collage).

I finally have focus and clarity. I have also found a career that fulfills all of my goals and values. Life is good.

Related articles:
How to create a vision board to harness the power of intention.
Stop working and start living!
How feng shui got my butt off the couch.

I’ll let you in on a little secret—if you want to discover your subconscious dreams, fears, and beliefs, look around your home.

Your home is a mirror of yourself. Really.

Clare Cooper Marcus, a former professor at UC Berkeley and author of “House as a Mirror of Self” says, “what is not yet conscious is normally experienced ‘out there,’ in a projection on the outer world.”

So guess what? You can’t hide from your subconscious crap.

You may not want to acknowledge that you feel completely out of control of your life, but those obsessive-compulsive tendencies to keep your house in perfect order are revealing your dirty little secret.

Maybe you’ve been preserving your son’s childhood room in its original condition as if it is some precious relic. I’m sorry to say that it’s probably not because of its great monetary value or historical merit (unless, of course, your son is Michael Jackson or Elvis). The real reason may be that you are mourning the loss of parenthood and don’t know what to do with your life now.

What’s even more interesting is that according to Ms. Marcus, we learn about ourselves through the molding of our physical environment. That is to say your home and the way you create your space actually stimulates what she calls an “expression-feedback-integration.”

It works like this — you create your immediate environment and then are worked on by it. You find yourself mirrored in it, see what had not been visible, and then you integrate that reflection back into your sense of self.

The personalization of space represents your journey to wholeness.

Amazing, huh?

That is because every object in your home has an influence on you. Carl Jung called this numinosity.

Now that you know this, you can use your home as a reflection of what you want in your life. You can use your external surroundings and the physical objects within to reflect the transformation you desire.

This is especially true for artwork or other special objects that you create—they become a profound expression of what you are seeking. There is a connection between yourself and your environment. When you create a special object, it is as if the energy moves from you — the creator — to the object, back to self. Your personal creations play a central role in the development of your self-identity and your life.

So go get some craft supplies and make yourself a vision board! Cover that tired old lounge chair with a slip-cover made for love! Turn your wall into a healing ritual!

This image is from Kelee Katillac's wonderful book "House of Belief." To create a visual affirmation, this woman heat-transferred black-and-white photos of great Hollywood lovers onto a slipcover.

Also from "House of Belief," this cancer-survivor created a healing ritual of belief by forming an inspiring collage directly onto the wall.

My perfect feng shui bedroom.

A good feng shui bedroom is cozy, comfortable, intimate, serene, sensual, and deeply restful. It is important to have subtle lighting, peaceful colors, and comfortable furnishings.

Another consideration when designing your feng shui bedroom is the location of your bedroom on the feng shui bagua map. My bedroom is in both the fame/reputation and abundance/prosperity area of the feng shui bagua.

I followed these simple steps to create a peaceful, sensual and romantic bedroom that also enhances those areas:

• I chose colors that were warm, serene, and romantic while at the same time elicited a feeling of abundance. The warm reds, yellows and oranges also brought in the fire element.
• I chose rich textures and fabrics.
• I specifically added artwork that depicted love and romance, while at the same time brought in some creative inspiration to enhance my fame/reputation area.
• To attract love and romance, I set up my bedroom for two — two nightstands, two lamps, and pairs of objects.

Bedroom feng shui does not have to be expensive! I created this room for under $500 by shopping at Target, Pier 1, Ikea, and antique stores. I made my own night stands, headboard and bedframe as well. It is absolutely amazing what some plywood and paint can do. In fact, I think paint is probably the most useful enhancement in your feng shui tool box. Color rocks!

5 things you can do right now to attract the mate of your dreams… free romance tips for the romantically challenged.

If you’ve given up on this whole love thing and resigned yourself to life of romantic comedies from Netflix, don’t despair! There are some things you can do right now to start attracting your perfect romantic partner.

1. Learn to love yourself. I know, I know… this is probably the most trite and tired romance tip out there. You wanna know why? Because it is crucial and no one seems to take it very seriously. Most people would rather hire a psychic to find their one true love than look in the mirror and say (in honesty), “I love you.” No one will truly love you if you don’t love yourself. It seems Stuart Smalley was actually onto something.
   
2. Be open to receiving love. Many people say they want a romantic relationship, but when the opportunity actually comes knocking at their door they sabotage it faster than a politician can flip flop opinions. I have a friend who will psychoanalyze, diagnose, and dump a guy before or during her first date. Guess what? She is single and about to turn 40. She is not open to receiving love. You can open yourself up to receiving love by loving yourself, being loving towards others, and expressing gratitude for the love that does show up in your life.
   
3. Let go of wanting love. Wanting is a sure-fire way to repel love. Wanting is a distinct feeling of not having. If you want love, then you most certainly feel and know that you don’t have it. Wanting is better than a bad case of body odor at fending off any romantic prospects. Let go of wanting love.
   
   
4. Use feng shui to enhance your love life. Everything is energy. That means that you are connected to the energy in your home. If your home has a positive, uplifting flow of energy, then you are more positive and uplifted. Consult the feng shui bagua map and locate the part of your home that corresponds to love and relationships. Make sure this area has positive energy and beneficial enhancements. Still not sure about this whole energy thing? Why not just give it a try; what do you have to lose? I’ve had great success with the feng shui bagua.
   
5. Use your home as a metaphor for the love you wish to create. Many psychologists believe that everything in the unconscious seeks an outward manifestation. Therefore, if you want to discover your subconscious dreams, fears, and beliefs, look around your home. On the flip side, every object in your home has an influence on you. Carl Jung called this numinosity.

Basically, your home reflects who you really are now and influences who you will be in the future. If you sleep in a single bed full of stuffed animals, you might discover that not only do you have some unresolved childhood issues but that you certainly don’t have any room for a romantic partner in your life. Make your home a symbol of your intention to attract love.

If you want more information, please visit “Easy feng shui love and romance tips.” and “Free relationship advice for attracting perfect relationships and improving existing ones.”

How I used feng shui in my home to attract love.

When I found myself newly single and in a new home, I immediately focused on my bedroom and the relationships and love area of the feng shui bagua. These two areas are the most important for attracting love and romance.

My relationships and love area happens to be my home office. Therefore, it was essential that my desk was in the command position with a beautiful view of the mountains outside. Absolutely no clutter is allowed, since clutter causes stagnant energy.

I created a collage that would both inspire my creative ambitions and depict my idea of true love.

This is a collage of Charles and Ray Eames. They were amazing designers and visionaries who were married and worked closely together — definitely my ideal relationship.

I also added pairs of objects like vases, books, lamps, and bookends. I included soft, sensual textures and colors like a flokati rug; deep red walls; and red, white, and pink accessories.

 

 

My bedroom is in the fame and reputation and abundance area of the feng shui bagua map. Therefore, it was important to make appropriate enhancements for these areas and create a romantic bedroom at the same time.

I “prepared” my bedroom for a lover by setting it up for two — two nightstands, two lamps, and pairs of objects. Red sheets help to bring a feeling of passion and sensuality.

I used colors and textures that were romantic, luxurious, earthy, comforting and serene — focusing on the fire element.

The animal skin rug and feng shui colors like red, gold, and yellow bring in the fire element and enhance the fame/reputation area. These colors along with richly colored textiles also promote a feeling of abundance. And of course, all of the colors are serene and comfortable in order to create a bedroom oasis.

I filled my bedroom with symbols of love and romance like silk flowers (real flowers have to much active energy) and gorgeous artwork depicting loving couples.

The biggest challenge in this room was avoiding the 5 doors in the space!! It is impossible to avoid being in line with a door. Because of this, I found my personal kua number and placed my bed in my success direction.

Learn more about the relationships and love area of the feng shui bagua.

Learn more about the perfect feng shui bedroom.

Learn specific feng shui tips for more romance.

So, if the Release Technique is my ticket to freedom, where does feng shui come into play?

I must confess, when I got back from the “Seven Day Final Step Retreat” in Lake Tahoe, I felt like the Release Technique was the answer. Everything else seemed like a distraction — including feng shui. If you can get everything you want from releasing, then why bother with anything else, right?

I was very confused.

Over the next month, I came to understand that feng shui is actually the perfect complement to the Release Technique. In fact, feng shui supports your freedom by creating a personal sanctuary.

I discovered that I could release much more effectively and efficiently in my feng shui inspired home.  The positive energy and lack of clutter super-charged my ability to quiet my mind and release. The fact that I was living (and releasing) in a physical affirmation of my intentions inspired me and strengthened my commitment to go free.

Larry chose to hold the retreat in Tahoe because of its awe-inspiring beauty and quietness. He knew the location and environment would assist all the releasers to reach their goals. Your home can provide the exact same respite.

Feng shui works.

How to be happy: sure-fire ways to get your smile on.

Start a gratitude journal.
It is impossible to be negative or unhappy when you show appreciation and gratitude — they are completely opposite emotions. It would be like trying to stand up and sit down at the same time. You can’t.

Plus, the Universe absolutely adores gratitude. It’s kinda like when someone cute winks at you while you are waiting in line for your double latte to go — you can’t help but feel the flutter of genuinely good vibes. When you express gratitude you are showering the Universe with heartfelt flattery after which you had better watch out for what author Sera Beak likes to call one big fat “Divine Wink” (that’s a real good thing).

Get a notebook and starting writing at least 5 things you are grateful for everyday. What do you have to lose (aside from a bad case of the grumpies)?

A good old-fashioned gratitude journal is what helped my mom kick a hellacious 35-year addiction to alcohol and enables her to live a joyful, fulfilling life.

Clear your clutter and clean house.
You’re probably wondering what this has to do with happiness, right? A lot! Your outer reality reflects your inner reality and if you have a house full of crap, then you have a mind full of crap.

Clutter and filth do not serve you. They drain your energy and are downright depressing. Read more about clutter control here.

Use feng shui to create a template for happiness.
This relates to the previous tip. Your inner world and outer world are deeply connected. Every object in your home has an influence on you. Make sure your home is conveying the right messages to you.

Your external environment can be a powerful tool for manifesting — especially when you use feng shui in the home. Focus on the creativity and abundance areas of the feng shui bagua. Want some free tips for finding happiness with feng shui?

Read or watch material that makes you laugh or inspires and energizes you.
Remember, you can’t stand up and sit down at the same time — just as you can’t laugh and be depressed simultaneously.

Seems to simple, doesn’t it?

Well, it may be simple but it works! I credit this technique, along with gratitude journaling and visualization for getting me off of automatic and launching me to freedom. When I applied these three techniques, everything came into my life that I needed — teachers, books, classes, jobs, money, love, feng shui, the Release Technique, etc. Read tales from my Pollyanna Wonderland.

Connect with nature.
You don’t have to pull a Thoreau and retreat to an isolated cabin while ranting about the pitfalls of our industrialized society. However, it would behoove you to take a walk, dig your bare feet into the grass, or sit under a tree. Nature nourishes the soul. There is a physiological and psychological need to connect with nature. Living in a denatured environment creates denatured people. So go outside and play!

Practice the Sedona Method, the Release Technique or some other meditation practice that helps you to quiet the mind and find internal peace.
Everyone seeks happiness. Unfortunately, most people seek happiness in outward experiences — which are impossible to control. Are you really gonna rely on your friends, your mother, your cat, your car, your awesome designer handbag to make you happy?

Why would you hand over such an important issue to something so precarious? You must learn to find happiness within — once you do, your external world will automatically reflect your internal state of joy. Here is a quick guide to The Method, the Release Technique, the Sedona Method and Lester Levenson.

What you can do right now to have more abundance and prosperity.

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude
The universe loves gratitude. Start a gratitude journal. Not only will this make you feel more positive, but it also opens you up to receiving even more from the universe. Just like when you give a gift to a friend, if she is grateful you want to give to her even more.

Create an illusion or feeling of luxury
Fake it until you make it. Okay, so you might not be the next Donald Trump, but you don’t have to live in a space that constantly affirms your lack of abundance. It is much better to surround yourself with your idea of abundance. Maybe it is luxurious fabrics, lavish houseplants, opera music, or a china tea set from a thrift store that makes you feel like a queen. For me, it is richly textured textiles and big bunches of flowers.

Incorporate images of abundance into your home and workplace
Again, you want to create a home that assists in attracting wealth. Use accessories and artwork that depict wealth like fresh flowers, lush landscapes, goldfish, or financially successful people. For more feng shui wealth tips click here.

Enjoy and celebrate the luxury you have
Well, what are you waiting for? You want to experience abundance now, don’t you? Pull out your special china and display your valuable possessions. And if you are one of those people who have covered your furniture in plastic, then for God’s sake remove it and let your furniture breathe! You are worth it. You deserve to experience the finer things in life right now.

Use good solid furniture and durable materials in your home
This relates to environmental psychology. Flimsy furniture and cheap materials scream, “I have no money!” Make sure your furniture is stable, solid, secure, and well-built. If you have no money to replace that Ikea table you bought for your kitchen, then do what I did — nail, glue, epoxy (whatever it takes!) to make your table appear solid and stable. I once even anchored my flimsy shelving to the wall with toggle bolts. Nothing a little spackle couldn’t cover later. *wink*

Make home repairs
A shabby, unkempt home equals lack. Enough said.

Create a vision board or what I like to call an “intentional collage”
A vision board is a great tool for manifesting money. For instance, you can create a vision board out of images from magazines or printed from the internet representing the kind of abundance you want. It can be an image of a beach house in Maui, an Audi, or a $1Million check made out to yours truly — whatever it is, make sure it represents your idea of abundance and prosperity. If you want to take it to a deeper level, create your own unique piece of art that portrays the essence of what abundance is for you.

Use water features or symbols of water in your space
Water is a feng shui symbol for abundance. If you don’t want the hassle of a water feature, incorporate the water element into your home.

Use moving objects to call in energy (aka “chi”).
Moving objects like wind chimes, banners, flags and mobiles will bring more life-enhancing chi into your home. (As will mischievous, rambunctious pets, for that matter! When my cat is arching her back, fluffing her tail and bounding sideways at me, at least I know she is calling in prosperous energy.)

The kitchen is a symbol of abundance and wealth in feng shui, so make sure your kitchen promotes prosperity.
Use bright and cheerful colors, potted herbs, fresh fruit, etc. Make your kitchen a space you want to be in — a place that radiates vitality, health and happiness. Always make sure your kitchen surfaces are clean and free from clutter.

Include “abundant” colors like purple, red, gold, green, blues, and yellows.
Color always carries visual, symbolic, synaesthetic, emotional, and physiological effects with it. When you understand the meaning of colors, you can begin using them to your advantage by applying them in your home appropriately.

Add specific enhancements to the abundance and prosperity area of the feng shui bagua.
I love using the feng shui bagua because it allows me to focus on a specific intention. Okay, so you may not believe classical feng shui masters who believe that an environment has direct correlations to specific situations in life. However, it is really hard to dispute that where intention goes energy flows. Don’t take my word for it; prove it for yourself. I have had amazing gains from working with the bagua map.

Use the Release Technique or Sedona Method to rid yourself of attachments and aversions — feelings of neediness repel abundance and prosperity.
The Release Technique or the Sedona Method is the icing on your big fat cake of abundance. Feng shui and other environmental metaphysics create a sanctuary that fosters personal growth and freedom. The Release Technique is the finishing touch. Don’t believe me? Read my Release Technique gains here.

**Avoid dirt, dust, clutter, broken items, reminders of bad times, or dead plants.**